Finding Chris

I have always been a dreamer. As a child I wanted to be an astronaut, blasting into space and discovering the limits of our universe. My favorite toy as a child was a talking GI Joe (with the kung fu grip). Joe was always positive and every time you pulled his string, he’d say something that made you feel every mission was possible. I was born during the Vietnam War, and I still remember the combat footage and seeing the names of the fallen scrolling across the black and white tv after the evening news. I was too young to truly understand it all, but with my Dad being in the Air National Guard, I knew he could have been called up and that he was losing buddies over there. I don’t recall ever specifically wanting to be GI Joe, but I knew I wanted to be a leader. Throughout my elementary and secondary schooling, I maintained a B+ average but put the bare minimum of effort into it. I was much more interested in playing sports than studying and I think I did a good job of walking the line between respectable young man and trouble maker.

As high school graduation approached, I decided to follow in my Mother’s footsteps and attend Lock Haven University. But I also wanted some excitement. Chuck Yeager was one of my heroes, and I saw myself as a fighter pilot, shooting “commies” out of the sky. So, in an attempt to obtain a Naval ROTC scholarship, I joined the Marine Corps to be an aviator, but discovered my color vision was a non-waiverable issue, and I turned down the chance to be a Back-Seater, saying if I couldn’t be the pilot, I wasn’t interested. Youthful exuberance clouding my judgement for sure. Who wouldn’t want to be Goose in Top Gun? Well, at least up to the point where he dies in the flat-spin. But I digress.

I went to college to pursue an Aerospace Engineer / Business dual major but had a weak calculus background. Probably because I slept through math class in high school and nobody ever told me I might need that knowledge later in life. However, I thrived in my business classes, and soon discovered that path made more sense than trying to go back and fix a few years of advanced math shortfalls. It was my sophomore year and I had decided to take a double year of ROTC and join the Army Reserves to get help paying for college. I will never forget standing in the Military Entrance Processing Station in Wilkes Barre, PA speaking to my Dad on the phone and asking his opinion on signing my enlistment contract. His answer was perfect, it was my decision, and he would support me either way. I was scared and knew it was a big decision I would have to live up to. But in the back of my mind, I also knew that I needed a new challenge, and I was tired of being the scrawny little kid.

I remember being with my buddies from high school the night before I left for Basic Training. They were supportive and even said they were proud of me. It might have been the first time I ever heard something like that from my peers. I shipped to Fort Dix, NJ and in no time at all I was cranking out 50+ push-ups a minute and getting stronger and faster. Physical endurance aside, the mental toughness was harder to learn. That summer changed my life. I quickly moved up through the leadership positions in Basic and AIT and graduated with honors. I reported back to college that fall 15 pounds stronger and confident that I could achieve anything I wanted. I tried to walk on to the college soccer team. That was probably entertaining for the coach and my friends on the team, but I tried all the same. When asked why I had done so by my fraternity brothers, my answer was simple and one I still use to this day. I never want to find myself sitting on my front porch saying “I wish I would have…”

I thrived in the military, ultimately achieving the rank of Major in the PA Army National Guard, served in two combat tours and multiple other deplyments. I loved that lifestyle, the excitement and adventure of traveling the world and seeing new places, most of them not high on the tourist list. I hated my civilian job(s) until I started my own business, so I volunteered for every opportunity that presented itself. Leading soldiers through difficult training and in combat was the ultimate life experience, despite the PTSD I earned in the process. But after 21 years, I was stuck in a staff position and lacking excitement, so I retired and focused on my financial advisory firm, which had languished during my deployments.

I began my wealth advisor career as an independent. Even today, few people enter the business this way. It’s usually something you graduate into, not begin as a neophyte. But that’s always been my style, to navigate the most direct course. It’s not that I don’t recognize the value of experience, I just like the challenge of simultaneously attacking multiple projects. Most of my friends and peers perceive this as chaos. Meanwhile, I am in wonder at how they can focus on one thing at a time. The thought of it bores the hell out of me!

Over the next 20 years in this business, I hungered for knowledge. I jumped at the chance to attend conferences, formal education, additional certifications, and read everything I could find that I thought would help me grow my business and marketing clout. I was a student of the game, believing that knowledge, experience and a robust network would power me through.

About halfway through this time period, one of my best friends and fellow officers from the Army joined my firm. Ralph and I had visions of growing a small firm. We recruited new advisors, believing they would help us grow and lead us to the promised land. Instead, they sucked the life out us. They lacked commitment, seeing it as a job, not a mission. Just as it is difficult to win a war with conscripts, it is extremely challenging to face the objections and challenges of acquiring clients with an employee mindset. Clearly the problem was us. So, we decided to focus on being a boutique and build out a staff that would allow us to be more efficient with our client time. But that didn’t work either. Turned out I hated managing people, and I did not feel it was fair to have Ralph doing it while he was still growing his business. Leading highly motivated volunteers in the military is very different from trying to inspire people to be quick-starts and take the initiative. Espirit-de-Corps is not easily developed without a higher calling, and it turns out not all advisors, and certainly few staff, wake up every morning with the passion for serving clients and helping them achieve their dreams. Ralph and I worked well together and are like brothers, but we were two strong personalities and sometimes I felt he was undermining our growth because he didn’t really believe in it. Ultimately, we agreed to focus on our core strengths of building and maintaining strong relationships with our clients.

Around the same time, I started trail running. It really all began after my half-life (50th birthday) camping weekend when a buddy of mine made the comment that the next 5-10 years would likely bring significant deterioration in fitness and strength based on his experience. This statement was sobering, and I started getting serious about getting back in shape that same week. I also started to take some time alone to do some deep thinking. Most of this occurred on my long runs in the mountains. Doing 10+ hour runs up and down mountain trails requires a decent amount of attention to the task at hand. But if you don’t think about something else, the pain and suffering will take front stage. I find this time provides the perfect venue to dive deep into what truly motivates me, what drives me to do the things that many people look at and just shake their heads. This is my form of active meditation. I find it very difficult to slow my brain down enough to focus until I am physically tired. I guess this is why I truly enjoy getting off the grid, exploring new terrain and pushing myself to new temporary boundaries.

It was during one of my backcountry elk hunts that I finally realized that maybe I wasn’t being true to myself. I found myself on a ridge top with limited cell service. I listened to my messages, and one of them was to call a client asap. Always wanting to provide excellent service, I decided to call the client back against my better judgement. The issue turned out to be inconsequential, but what happened at the end of the call was poignant. When asked where I was, I was very vague and ultimately tried to dodge the question. I might as well have lied. It felt the same. I sat there watching the sun set over the ridge, surrounded by some of the most beautiful country in the world, golden aspens shimmering in the breeze, and thought about my Dad who lived for these hunts. He may have passed away in 2015, but on every venture into the mountains, he is right there by my side, living every moment. Dad would most certainly been disappointed in my response to that client!

In fact, I was disappointed in myself. How did I get to the point where I would sacrifice my integrity to please a client? While I didn’t outright lie, I certainly wasn’t forthcoming with the facts. Is there a difference? Would they even care? Or was it my internal narrative of what I thought clients wanted to hear taking control of my tongue? Why would my client care, especially given the fact that I was taking time to address their concern? As darkness enveloped the ridge, I decided I had better head for camp which was more than 5 miles away. It took me almost two hours to cover that distance, and by the time I arrived at camp, I had vowed to myself to work on this and develop a solution.

I spent the next few months in research. I spoke with my peers in the business, many of whom are wildly successful. I discovered many of them weren’t really happy. Business might have been thriving, but their relationships were falling apart. Others had health issues, or complained about staffing issues, compliance issues, etc. In the end, I heard a lot of negatives as I conducted my “interviews.” When I suggested to them that there had to be a better path, they all agreed, then moved on to all the reasons why it could never work. The more I explored, the more limiting thought processes I was exposed to. I decided the answers had to be somewhere else.

I read a number of books, Tim Ferris’ 4-hour Work Week, Jocko Willink’s Extreme Ownership, David Goggins’ Can’t Hurt Me. All of them (and many more), great reads but none of them explained my dilemma completely. How did I get to the point where I thought the definition of success was owning a professional office building, surrounded by uncommitted staff who feigned belief in our core values, driving fancy cars, and becoming a million-dollar firm? I used to believe we were all products of our environment. If that’s the case, then it is easy to see how that becomes a virtual reality for most financial advisors. Truth is our business is hard. Fewer than 15% survive three years in the business, and those that do are immersed in the myth that assets under management, life premium, annual production, and a large office full of salaried staff (or whatever metric is being tracked), defines success. With that, comes the lifestyle, manner of dress, and somewhat arrogant attitude. Maybe that’s why those who fail in our business find a natural fit in the banking world!

Those who know the real me, the puffy jacket, casual guy who still spends the majority of his day longing to be outside, probably never really understood what I was doing in a suit sitting in the corner office. So why did I feel like that was a necessary evil? Where did this idea originate? Bernie Madoff wore suits and I am sure he had the corner office. That should have triggered the opposite response! This issue haunted me for over a year. Then one day I realized I truly was a product of my environment, and I was unhappy. I was a hypocrite. I was coaching all my clients to pursue their dreams, meanwhile I was not being truly authentic to myself. I decided I was wasting time. I only had this one opportunity to live the life I truly wanted, I had better get on with it. I laid out a path of personal enlightenment. Not just education, actually getting professionally lighter. I built a team of trusted friends, including some clients, and I broached the subject of selling the office, eliminating staff, and focusing on my key client relationships. I decided that client acquisition needed to be through attraction rather than marketing, and that if I was truly authentic to who I was, the rest would fall into place. Many of my peers thought I was going rogue, most likely trying to self-implode so I would be able to justify leaving the business altogether (exact words). That was literally a few months before the world came to a sudden halt due to the pandemic. Fortunately, I had already begun my transformation. Suddenly, I was ahead of the curve when it came to technology, virtual client meetings, and curbside delivery of services. Those same disagreements Ralph and I had over not falling into line with all the lemmings, now carry a different interpretation. Ultimately, his steadfast support has allowed me to explore this new path without judgement. We may have different paths and dreams, but our mutual love of helping others and a slight hero-complex will keep us marching forward in the good fight.

The journey continues and is gathering steam. I now know I have an additional mission in life. I truly believe that each of has no idea of the potential we possess, it is infinite. In a few short years, I went from running my first trail half-marathon, to becoming an experienced ultra-runner. I have completed numerous 50K’s, two 50 milers including the JFK 50 and the Silver Rush 50 in Leadville, CO, as well as the UROC 100K. In August of 2021 after only 16 months of training, I toed the line at the Leadville 100 Mile Race Across the Sky made famous in the book Born To Run. This race has mantra attached to it from the founder, Ken Clouber; “You can do more than you think you can.” Which aside from being an iconic race, and one of the most challenging in the trail ultra-running world, is what attracted me to it. It doesn’t really get any simpler than that phrase. Though I timed out after 40 miles, it was one of the most amazing days of my life and I learned so much about myself that day. I ran that first 40 miles almost an hour faster than I ever had in any race, at 10,000+ feet. I say this not to brag but to explain the power of the mind. I went from not knowing about ultra-running, to not believing it was possible, to taking on 200+ mile races in less than 3 years. If you are capable of envisioning something, you can achieve it.

You might ask what the key to success in these races is. My answer is simple: In the immortal words of Jimmy Valvano, find what makes you happy and then “don’t give up, don’t ever give up.” But the most important thing I have learned is that the result has no bearing on the outcome. In the military, we focus on the End-State, the effect of the actions taken as opposed to the result. Ultimately, the effect is the only thing that matters. For instance, my 146 miles at The Bigfoot 200 failed to achieve the finish-line, but the experience was everything I hoped for and more. The time with my peers, crew and pacers, the scenery, the challenging terrain, the sleep deprivation and the moment when I could feel my Dad's presence on the run around Spirit Lake, are irreplaceable, and worth the DNF result. We often learn the most when we fail to achieve the goal. The parallels between ultra running and life are unmistakable.

Which is why part of my expanding life mission as a Certified Coach (Brown University / Member - International Coaching Federation), is to help others put aside their perception of a limited reality and explore their Infinite Potential. Not because it’s financially rewarding, not because it will increase assets under management or win awards, but because there can be nothing more rewarding than guiding someone to exceed their dreams, something they never even imagined beforehand.

While I continue to coach my financial clients through the challenges of today’s economy and tax regulations, I get the greatest satisfaction from working with my Leadership and Performance Coaching clients and the Team Warrior Runner initiative. The focus of my coaching is helping people develop their personal leadership skills and harness their inner warrior mindset. That mindset allows them to focus their efforts on the things that truly matter to them, clear the noise that others try to use to influence them, and achieve the life they desire and deserve. The Team Warrior Runner project highlights people who have made that choice, sacrificed for, and committed to their values, and are focused on living a purposeful life.

Finding Chris has been quite the journey. I could not have done it without the unending support of my wife, my family, and my tribe of friends who support me in these wild endeavors. My goal is to create a legacy of helping others find “Themselves” and the happiness and freedom that comes with it. That would be a life well lived for sure. One wild and precious life full of adventure and maybe a little bit of chaos!

So yes, I AM going rogue – and loving every minute of it! Get out there and explore your future, it’s yours for the taking!

For my Dad, my role-model, inspiration, and best friend. Love and miss you Pop.